Uncovered

I wanted to be free like a little child
I wanted to frolick and play in the sand
To throw my head back and belly laugh
To cry on someone's shoulder when I'm sad

I'm tired of being the strong one
Of trying so hard to hold it all together
It's hard to keep standing with head high
When I just want to burrow under my pillow

So I let loose and uncovered it all
Baring these, my most desperate needs
I exposed my deepest wounds & let myself cry
I shared secret dreams & vented hidden frustrations

It was too much for you to see
Just who I really am and how vulnerable
I can be
It was too much for you to know
That underneath there were storms raging
Inside of me

The little girl came out to play
With all the joy and thrills of childhood
But with her came the trantrums, the fits
The need for your constant loving attention

It blew you away and now I know
That I must return once more to the dignity,
The control and togetherness of yester-years
I must stay wrapped under that thin veneer coating

This is what the world wants
This is the limit of what you can handle
Not all of me
This is what I must remain
Packaged nicely, so tightly controlled
Inside of me

The little girl can never be again -
Not her childishness, anger and emotions
Nor her freedom, laugther and love of life
She'll remain inside, always just one breath away

Forgive me a few moments
While she grows up once again,
Reins in her emotions and desires,
Smooths on the makeup of a controlled lady

In a wee while, I shall return
The woman the world wants me to be
Perhaps then we'll laugh once more
But it will never again be the real me