Wishing You a Safe Journey
I found out today as I was going out the door that you're leaving us on the 15th. It came as a shock... so suddenly... so quickly gone! I spent the day in a clown suit, entertaining children and wishing passersby a Happy Easter. Did they see that the twinkle in my eye was really a tear struggling to break loose? Did they hear the catch in my voice when I gave my cheery greeting? Did they notice the tremor in my hand as I made their balloons? Probably not...
I don't even know what to think of all this... Do I think about the good times and miss you? Do I think about the pain and hurt and struggle through that again? I've settled for a compromise ... I try not to think about it at all! But there are still those sleepless nights... and memories all over.
Sarah said today what we're all thinking but don't dare say: "This is probably the last time we'll ever see you." Those words cut through me and I try not to dwell on it. I know that once you walk out that door, I'll probably never hear from you again. It's not that I want you to love me... It's the aching need to know that you care... the reassurance that when you go it won't be as if I never existed. Perhaps I ask too much. I don't know.
I hope you find what you're looking for, that your dreams come true... I pray you make the right choices and that the love you want will come to you. Take care of yourself, cuz now there is no one there to look out for you. But you'll always have my love and prayers.
I don't even know what to think of all this... Do I think about the good times and miss you? Do I think about the pain and hurt and struggle through that again? I've settled for a compromise ... I try not to think about it at all! But there are still those sleepless nights... and memories all over.
Sarah said today what we're all thinking but don't dare say: "This is probably the last time we'll ever see you." Those words cut through me and I try not to dwell on it. I know that once you walk out that door, I'll probably never hear from you again. It's not that I want you to love me... It's the aching need to know that you care... the reassurance that when you go it won't be as if I never existed. Perhaps I ask too much. I don't know.
I hope you find what you're looking for, that your dreams come true... I pray you make the right choices and that the love you want will come to you. Take care of yourself, cuz now there is no one there to look out for you. But you'll always have my love and prayers.
posted by whacky at 7:07 pm
6 Comments:
One of the most beautiful things on love I've read in the last few months.
Touching and heart-wrenching. Can relate to the feeling of losing someone you love and have divided your life with.
Somehow the heart heals and lets go again.
But the memory always remains.
I love you, Andrea! And I pray for you often. xxx
That really touched me!
Praying for you.
well i'll look out for him if i can..
Dear　Anji.
Once upon the time, long time ago, my wife left me with my first daughter who was very very very dear to my heart. Others tryed to encourage me saying, "God never take something away, unless he is going to give you something better." I felt in my heart, "Yeah. I know that... And thank you for trying to encourage me.... but I really do not know how he can heal this hurt and aich (how to spell? sorry, I am Japanese) in my heart. And what ever and who ever the Lord bring to my life, no one can fill empty holl where my daughter was.... "
A while later, Lord asked me if I am willing to go to Taiwan and marry a single mother who has two children and to be husband of her and father of her children.
My hear still had　pain. And I afraid that I may go through heart braking experience again. I really did not have confidence in me to get that close to someone again. All I wanted to do was just Love Jesus and serve him.
But the Lord persuaded me, and even though I debade with him every side, you know, He is stronger than me, and He won, I surrenderd.
I flew Taiwan. And marry her. And right there I got 2 Sons waiting for me. I lost one, then I got two. And Oh, These two boys were so preciouse. They were indeed healing balm(how to speell?) for me. They won my heart and healed my pain. I changed my name to Job, who lost everything but then blessed double.
Now, I still have that empty place in my heart which sometimes give me ache, but not that big but just enough to send prayer for her. But that empty spot is also surrounded by 9 preciouse children. 3 bigest ones already steping on thire lives. 2nd and 3rd is in mission field.
Did God gave me back something better. He does! And pain? It still there, but it is now attached with FAITH that some day the Lord make everything clear and good and fair. ----
Thank you for your love for the one left. We thank you forever for your love for him. We love you. From Daniel
Thank you, Daniel, for your message. I know the Lord will take care of things... and yes, in Heaven all our questions will be answered. Please give my love to Aileen and the kids. xxx
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