Time...

They say time heals many things... sometimes I sit here and wonder, "If I wait a few more years, will you have time to stop for me?" ... Yes, things have changed, but there are moments when I wish I could reach out and hold your hand the way I used to.
Whoever thought it would be me hurting... ?? And to think that I was so afraid to hurt you!! Would I have been so afraid if i had known this is how it would end?... Perhaps not. You always seemed so caring, so loving, so fragile... but then one day I woke up and realized that I was the one who'd been dreaming all along.
Does time change the ache? Does it make you forget the dreams you shared? Or does it simply make everything fade into one big haze? You'll never know how many times I would have given everything so you would have heard what i was saying... you'll never know how many times I so longed for you to understand... the times you walked away with that carefree spirit and I was left to pick up the pieces.
"You have to move on," they say. I suppose I have. You owe me nothing now... yet, still, somehow it burns! I can walk through every day and nothing will phase me... People say I've become hard, toughened... but that's because they don't see the secret tears threatening to pour forth at any moment. They don't feel the incredible pain lurking just beneath the surface ... They don't see the love fighting against control...
Time! ... Does it really heal?? or does it make you realize with every passing day the distance that is growing between you? Is time really a friend or an enemy? If I want beautiful memories, would time let me hold on to them? ... or is every day another test to see how badly they can be shredded?...